January Thoughts

1 | Winter Break

It's so odd being on break and having absolutely nothing to do. On one hand, it's incredibly liberating. But on the other hand for a person like me who is lowkey a busy body, it is the worst kind of hell. How can I be productive when I have no direction? The only answer...throw myself into building back my YouTube channel and blog. I know that reveals more about my failure to fully recharge and relax when given the time to do so, but I also think that the first step to fixing any problem is admitting that it exists. Plus I like to think that this isn't a "waste" of my time. This is something that I enjoy doing and more importantly, it's something that allows me to document my thoughts over a course of time. I feel worst when I look back and have nothing to look back at, and I'm super excited to see what the year holds. On a completely different note, I can't ignore all the fun things I was able to get in during this break. I was able to see Knives Out and I thoroughly enjoyed it! I also got to get a massage which was super relaxing. More importantly (to me at least) I was able to get my fill of Moe's burritos which I am unable to have when in Lexvegas.

2 | Missing my Boy

I won't lie I didn't think that I was going to miss the company of my boyfriend that much*, but now I have a newfound respect for those in long-distance relationships. I've known for a while that I probably wouldn't be able to do a long-distance relationship, and even now after being away from each other for a month I know that I would prefer to avoid that. It's a weird feeling wanting something that you can't have. It hits you in waves, small at first, larger other times, but always there gnawing on you. And maybe I'm being melodramatic, but it's interesting seeing how attached we can get to people we grow accustom to being around.

(*= Don't get me wrong, I knew that I would miss him quite a bit because Thanksgiving break was only a week and I definitely missed him during that short time. I just thought that the holiday season and being with my family would distract me from fully feeling this way.)

3 | Hard Semester

I've tried to mentally prepare myself for the terror that will be this semester. As of now, I will be taking Econ 100, Acct. 100, Jour 201, and German 262, and while I'm slightly scared I also know that God has given me the strength to not only allow me to get this far but to reach the finish line. With God on my side, there is absolutely nothing I cannot do. Plus, I've already bought my Economics textbook so, at least for that class, I'm in for the long haul now haha.

4 | Heading Back to W&L

Despite, the first point about not fully taking advantage of the relaxation part of my winter break. I'm still not ready to head back. I want to see all of my friends again, but I don't want to do the work just yet. I still want to live on the cloud nine of last semester's grades. However, I also know that I could be

5 | Missing my Family

I've said for awhile, that I knew homesickness would hit me harder second semester because I would've grown accustom to being around my family again, just to have to leave all over again. Today is my last full day in Alabama before I head back to VA, so it'll be interesting to see whether those feelings manifest like I expect them too. Yet, I will also say that I am not speaking that over myself. Not that I'm not allowed to feel those feelings, but I don't want to allow those feelings to prevent me from enjoying my school year.

6 | 21 Days of Prayer and Fasting

Every January (and August) my home church asks the church body to come together for 21 days to pray every morning. At the start of the year, my church also includes fasting as a way to dedicate one's life at the start of the year. Since, I go to college out of state I will only be able to attend one of the prayer services in person, but I'm excited to still participate online and through fasting while I'm away. I'm also excited to see and hear about the amazing things God will do during this time. This year I decided I was going to fast Twitter, Instagram, and secular music. I also would like to fast bread, but I'm not sure how possible that will be when I get back to college since the eating options are few. If not, I think I will end up fasting lunch instead, but stay tuned for more details in a recap post that will be up later this month.

What are some things you are looking forward to in January?